Even More Phrases I Hate

Phrases:

"I Can't Hear Myself Think"

Really!? You can't hear a process which goes on in your head, the transfer of electric signals which are formed into recognizable thoughts by the brain? You can't hear that? Guess what? NEITHER CAN ANY OF US! Almost every day I hear someone say this, chances are you do too. This phrase is supposed to mean the person can't concentrate, but really, all it ends up saying is "I don't have superpowers". Great job, Captain Obvious! If you use this phrase a lot, perhaps you have the superpower of annoyance from the obvious. Go use it somewhere else, and get away from me.

"I Don't Trust Someone as Far as I can Throw Them"

What the fuck is this? Since when were distances a standard unit of measurement for trust? And the way it's worded, you could, say, have a midget that you can hurl five meters, and a fat guy who you can only flop a few centimeters, and still trust the midget less because you "don't trust them as far as you can throw them", stating no amount how much less, so it's completely fucking ridiculous! I hate people who use this phrase, and others that make no sense, and are completely ambiguous as to what the fuck they really mean.

"The Customer is Always Right"

What if the customer says "I'm wrong". Hm? Then what? They have to be right that they're wrong, so what happens, hm? What if two customers disagree? What then, you fucking moron!? Does the fucking universe implode because it's an inescapable paradox, or do you shut the fuck up and realize you're an idiot for ever using this phrase? Either way's fine by me.

"That's not Peanuts"

This one's very common when somebody's late. The moron who uses this phrase will say something like "you're fifteen minutes late. Fifteen minutes isn't peanuts". Really!? Time isn't peanuts!? I had no idea! Whenever I was hungry and bored, I'd just eat the next fucking hour! There are so many synonyms one could use for this phrase, like "that's a big deal" or "what's wrong with you? Why did you (insert problem here)? Fuck you!" There are so many ways to not sound like an idiot who barely has control over the English language.

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